We are all aware, our world is looking and feeling like a very different place right now. We as a country are facing circumstances that are forcing us to live a temporary yet difficult new norm. We have all heard the news about COVID-19 and are aware of the recommendations: wash your hands, stay home as much as possible and practice social distancing. While I strongly encourage you to remain informed, constant exposure to the news and media can understandably leave us with insurmountable anxiety and uncertainty.
It is normal to have questions and worries during this time. It would be easy to get caught up in checking for the next update and wondering “Did we prepare enough?” “Did we get everything we need from the store?” “What are we going to find out today?” Allow yourself to notice those thoughts and to acknowledge the feeling of uncertainty.
However, I also urge us as a whole to shift our focus. What CAN we do? How can we stay calm, take care of ourselves and those we love while doing what we need to do to remain informed and prepared?
Things to consider:
Be present. However you are choosing to spend your time indoors, I urge you to be present. If you’re playing a game with your kids, then do just that. Play the game. Turn off the tv, put your phone away for a while and be engaged with those immediately around you. Laugh, tell jokes, ask questions and get to know each other in ways you haven’t yet. If you’re cooking, then do just that. Cook. Try a new recipe you’ve been putting off because there wasn’t enough time before. Bake a dessert you normally wouldn’t bake. Bring the kids in to help and let go of all expectations. Let them get messy. I promise you, they are going to remember the time they laughed and made a messy dessert with you more than what it might end up looking or tasting like. This is a great opportunity for us to model for our kids how we can respond in times of crisis. Even in uncertainty, there is an opportunity to create positive memories with your kids. We don’t want fear to determine their memories of this time.
Be flexible. Have a routine while allowing flexibility. Maybe bedtime is a little later tonight. That’s ok. Maybe there’s a little more screen time than usual. That’s ok too. Don’t beat yourself up with what you “should” be doing during this time. It’s going to look different for everyone. Do try to keep some level of routine for kids because it does help them remain grounded in knowing what to expect. For instance, having meals around the same time, naps around the same time and structure for school work will all be very beneficial.
Breathe, really breathe. Take a deep breath from down in your diaphragm. Count to 3 while you inhale. Pause for 4, and exhale for 5. Do it again. Slowly. Do this throughout the day as a way to really check in with yourself and to practice being aware of your breath and your body.
Exercise. Find ways to move your body. Even if it’s for 15 minutes. Stretch, do yoga or do high-intensity exercises that don’t require a gym or equipment. Youtube has endless amounts of free exercises you can do from home.
Stay connected. Lastly, social distancing doesn’t mean disconnection. We thankfully live in a time where we have significant access to technology, which means we have the ability to stay socially connected through FaceTime, Snapchat, Facebook, phone calls, texting and so forth. Maybe even consider writing and mailing a letter to someone you love. A nice surprise is for someone during a time of forced separation. So while we may need to be physically distancing ourselves from one another, let’s not allow that to translate to being socially disconnected. Be intentional. Reach out, say hi and stay connected.
This is a great opportunity for us to model for our kids how we can respond in times of crisis. Remember the days of saying “I don’t have enough time?” We can use this “new and temporary norm” as an intentional way to think about how we spend the time we now have.
Amanda Wetzel is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor. She is a full-time therapist working with families to improve their quality of life in the home, school, and community. Amanda has experience working with children, adolescents and adults. Her areas of focus include posttraumatic stress, other trauma or stressor-related disorders, adjustment disorders, stress management, depression, and anxiety.
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