12 Years Later

I remember almost every detail of that day with amazing clarity 12 years later. Not only do I remember that day but I remember the days and weeks that followed.

It was a beautiful day on the East Coast, picture perfect with clear, blue skies. The temps had dipped a little and you were starting to feel the crisp air of Fall.

It was in the morning and I was on my way to work, stopping by my weekly treat of Starbucks coffee. I got in the car and when the radio came on there was confusion of what was happening in New York.

The information was spotty. I remember picking up my cell phone to try and call my parents to see if they could tell me what was going on. The cell phones were jammed, you could not get a call through.

I drove the rest of the way to work and when I got to work everyone was huddled in a small room on a TV that had no cable and as we moved the rabbit ears to try and make out a fuzzy picture. It became clear what was happening.

There were no phone calls going out and none coming in. It was quiet everywhere. When you walked outside and looked up there were no planes, no noise, it was eerie. The quiet was extremely unsettling.

I worked at a partial hospital program at the time and I remember having a conversation later in the day how to talk to the kids about what happened that day. I remember sitting in that large group with a crushing feeling trying to tell the youth of that day that things were not good but that they would eventually be okay.

Would it ever be okay?

Up until that moment, up until that day I don't ever remember a time before when I felt scared to be in this country. Our country.

I remember those days and weeks that followed, I remember being glued to the TV until I physically and emotionally couldn't watch anymore.
I remember working really hard to understand something that I knew in my soul I would never understand.

Those days and weeks as American Flags were hung from every overpass in Connecticut, to large amounts of cars moving over on major interstates allowing lighting equipment and heavy machinary to pass because everyone knew it was headed into the city.......to help.

I remember watching the pain of many families that were searching for their loved ones and holding out hope. Sick with worry, physically sick with worry......

Going to the vigils and being in large groups of people and feeling completely alone.

September 11, 2001 was a horrible day for not just thousands of people but millions of people and the ripple effect of that one single day is still being felt 12 years later and probably will be for years and years to come.
However, in my world there was one other day that I feel was harder that September 11, 2001.

That day was September 12, 2001 when the sun rose......and life kept going....

Jori Sparry is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Her expertise includes working with traumatic life events, post traumatic stress disorder, marital and family issues, blended family issues, divorce, infertility, families with multiples, depression, anxiety, and with military service members and their families.

Soak in the Small Things!

The Not So Small Things

Much of my career has been spent working with people with serious medical conditions - new traumas and chronic conditions.  I have been reminded continually how precious life is, and to embrace every person, every moment.  My patients and clients have inspired me and I'll share one with you.  

He had been in a coma for 2 weeks.  Then completed  2 months of rehabilitation.  He Learned how to walk again, bathe himself, feed himself, dress himself, tie his own shoes. I was there in the hospital room when he first started responding to to commands / coming out of the coma.  And 2 1/2 months later, I watched him walk out the doors with his family.  At the time of our outpatient meeting, he was a few months in to a very long journey.  Being able to drive or work again was in the distance, if ever.  He walked with a cane and struggled with a field cut in his vision.  His speech was slurred and he struggled with finding the right word he wanted to say.  His short term memory was very poor.  He wasn't allowed to supervise his young child alone.  Life had been turned upside down.  He'd lost "everything" in the eyes of outsiders. 

 But when I asked him to describe his mood, he used the words "thankful, blessed, and happy". He expressed that he gets to watch his little girl play.  He gets to walk to the mailbox and get the mail.  That was a big deal to him, as there was a time in the hospital that he didn't think he would ever be able to do any of those things again.  He wasn't going to wait until he was "better" to take in life.  He chose to take and enjoy each moment.

Unfortunately, it often takes a tragedy or trauma for us to find that deep appreciation for "the small things".  But it doesn't have to.  Make  a conscious decision to be truly present in every moment.  There's a lot of truth and depth to the classic "stop and smell the roses". Because when you add up all the small things, it equals a lifetime.   So make it a point to go barefoot in the grass.  Eat more Popsicles.  Notice more sunsets.  Laugh as much as possible. Take it all in.

"Life moves pretty fast. If You don't stop and look around every once in a while, you might miss it."  

                                         - Ferris Bueller

Tammy Lott is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has 15 years of counseling experience. Her areas of focus include: medical psychology, adjustment to disability, migraine and tension headaches, conversion disorder, stress management, anxiety and depression.