12 Years Later

I remember almost every detail of that day with amazing clarity 12 years later. Not only do I remember that day but I remember the days and weeks that followed.

It was a beautiful day on the East Coast, picture perfect with clear, blue skies. The temps had dipped a little and you were starting to feel the crisp air of Fall.

It was in the morning and I was on my way to work, stopping by my weekly treat of Starbucks coffee. I got in the car and when the radio came on there was confusion of what was happening in New York.

The information was spotty. I remember picking up my cell phone to try and call my parents to see if they could tell me what was going on. The cell phones were jammed, you could not get a call through.

I drove the rest of the way to work and when I got to work everyone was huddled in a small room on a TV that had no cable and as we moved the rabbit ears to try and make out a fuzzy picture. It became clear what was happening.

There were no phone calls going out and none coming in. It was quiet everywhere. When you walked outside and looked up there were no planes, no noise, it was eerie. The quiet was extremely unsettling.

I worked at a partial hospital program at the time and I remember having a conversation later in the day how to talk to the kids about what happened that day. I remember sitting in that large group with a crushing feeling trying to tell the youth of that day that things were not good but that they would eventually be okay.

Would it ever be okay?

Up until that moment, up until that day I don't ever remember a time before when I felt scared to be in this country. Our country.

I remember those days and weeks that followed, I remember being glued to the TV until I physically and emotionally couldn't watch anymore.
I remember working really hard to understand something that I knew in my soul I would never understand.

Those days and weeks as American Flags were hung from every overpass in Connecticut, to large amounts of cars moving over on major interstates allowing lighting equipment and heavy machinary to pass because everyone knew it was headed into the city.......to help.

I remember watching the pain of many families that were searching for their loved ones and holding out hope. Sick with worry, physically sick with worry......

Going to the vigils and being in large groups of people and feeling completely alone.

September 11, 2001 was a horrible day for not just thousands of people but millions of people and the ripple effect of that one single day is still being felt 12 years later and probably will be for years and years to come.
However, in my world there was one other day that I feel was harder that September 11, 2001.

That day was September 12, 2001 when the sun rose......and life kept going....

Jori Sparry is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Her expertise includes working with traumatic life events, post traumatic stress disorder, marital and family issues, blended family issues, divorce, infertility, families with multiples, depression, anxiety, and with military service members and their families.