Communication Road Blocks

Communication Roadblocks:

In the last blog, I talked about the importance of effective communication in helping decrease family conflicts and dysfunction. I said that “active listening” is one of the most important elements of good communication. This month, I would like to discuss some common Communication Roadblocks. Roadblocks prevent effective communication and can make disagreements or conflicts worse. Recognizing when you are contributing to poor communication by doing these roadblocks will help you learn to express your thoughts and feelings more effectively and open the lines of communication between you and your loved ones.

1. Blaming or accusing: Finding someone “guilty” even before you hear the other person’s side. “It’s your fault that this happened”.
2. Interrupting: Cutting in with your own comments before the other person has a chance to finish talking.
3. Threatening: Trying to intimidate someone to make them do what you want.
4. Mind-Reading: Jumping to conclusions about what the other person is thinking or feeling.
5. Sarcasm: Suggesting that you don’t believe what the other person is saying or saying something to try and “one up” the other person.
6. Name calling and insulting: Enough said…if you are calling someone a name or insulting them, you are not trying to effectively communicate with them or resolve a conflict. You are letting them know that you don’t respect them or care about what they are saying.
7. Sweeping generalizations: Putting someone in a defensive position by exaggerating their behavior. This occurs when you use words like “always” “never” “every time”.
8. Judging: Assuming an air of being on a “higher level”.
9. Changing the subject: Not keeping to the point of an argument shows that you are not interested in what the other person is saying.

I frequently review these common roadblocks with families and couples when I am teaching communication skills and trying to help them learn how to effectively resolve their conflicts. When you begin to pay attention to these roadblocks, I think you will be surprised to learn how frequently you may use them. For example, I know that my son does not always leave his clothes on the floor of the room…it just feels that way sometimes ☺

Amie Majernik is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has extensive experience working with couples, depression, anxiety and behavioral disorders. She is a therapist at One Counseling and Wellness.