Soak in the Small Things!

The Not So Small Things

Much of my career has been spent working with people with serious medical conditions - new traumas and chronic conditions.  I have been reminded continually how precious life is, and to embrace every person, every moment.  My patients and clients have inspired me and I'll share one with you.  

He had been in a coma for 2 weeks.  Then completed  2 months of rehabilitation.  He Learned how to walk again, bathe himself, feed himself, dress himself, tie his own shoes. I was there in the hospital room when he first started responding to to commands / coming out of the coma.  And 2 1/2 months later, I watched him walk out the doors with his family.  At the time of our outpatient meeting, he was a few months in to a very long journey.  Being able to drive or work again was in the distance, if ever.  He walked with a cane and struggled with a field cut in his vision.  His speech was slurred and he struggled with finding the right word he wanted to say.  His short term memory was very poor.  He wasn't allowed to supervise his young child alone.  Life had been turned upside down.  He'd lost "everything" in the eyes of outsiders. 

 But when I asked him to describe his mood, he used the words "thankful, blessed, and happy". He expressed that he gets to watch his little girl play.  He gets to walk to the mailbox and get the mail.  That was a big deal to him, as there was a time in the hospital that he didn't think he would ever be able to do any of those things again.  He wasn't going to wait until he was "better" to take in life.  He chose to take and enjoy each moment.

Unfortunately, it often takes a tragedy or trauma for us to find that deep appreciation for "the small things".  But it doesn't have to.  Make  a conscious decision to be truly present in every moment.  There's a lot of truth and depth to the classic "stop and smell the roses". Because when you add up all the small things, it equals a lifetime.   So make it a point to go barefoot in the grass.  Eat more Popsicles.  Notice more sunsets.  Laugh as much as possible. Take it all in.

"Life moves pretty fast. If You don't stop and look around every once in a while, you might miss it."  

                                         - Ferris Bueller

Tammy Lott is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who has 15 years of counseling experience. Her areas of focus include: medical psychology, adjustment to disability, migraine and tension headaches, conversion disorder, stress management, anxiety and depression.

Muscle Knots!

What are muscle knots?

Muscle knots also called myofascial trigger points are a common problem for people. These knots can range from the size of a pinhead to the size of your thumb. Muscle knots are sections within a muscle where contracted fibers are unable to release, creating pain. Unable to release means the muscle never relaxes, the muscle is always in a state where it appears to be in active use rather than passive use. Muscle knots can cause pain in two ways: 

1.  Latent trigger points, which are knots that only hurt when you put pressure on them.

2.  Active trigger points, which are knots that actively refer pain along your neural pathways; causing it in non-localized areas. 

What causes muscle knots? The most common causes of muscle knots are:

1. Accidents – acute trauma, such as bad falls and sports injuries that strain your joints and muscles.

2. Postural stress – sitting too long with poor posture, sitting with no support, and lifting improperly.

3. Overstimulation – strenuous exercise and sport activities, especially lifting weights. 

How can I treat muscle knots?                                                                                                        

If you do have a painful knot, you’ll be glad to know it can get treated. You can go see a licensed massage therapist, who can use different techniques to treat the trigger points. You can also do self treatment. Massage yourself with a tennis ball or a foam roller. Just remember whatever you do, muscle knots don’t form over night and won’t go away over night.

Melissa Foster is a licensed massage therapist; she is part of the Wellness team at One.

What Herbs Have to Offer

It’s that beautiful time of season again when we all get out our houses and start planning for our gardens. Does not matter if you are planning a vegetable patch or planning to plant in a pot, herbs always make great choice for gardeners. You can enjoy the fresh aroma and taste and along with tons of health benefits that comes from fresh herbs. If you are wondering which one is the best, I would say they all are good ones. They all are lower in calories and have great health benefits.

Basil: Sweet basil is low in calories, and is a good source of vitamin A. Basil seeds in particular, is high in dietary fiber. Basil also includes flavonoids and antioxidants.
The flavor of fresh leaves is outstanding in salads (greens, tuna, potato, egg), with fresh or cooked tomatoes, with eggplant, peppers or zucchini, in marinades, as a sandwich garnish, and in the classic pesto sauce for pasta. Cooked briefly, it is a flavorful addition to soups, stews, and sauces. It works well with most other herbs. Large leaves can be torn, chopped or minced, and small leaves can be added whole to salads, vegetable dishes, pasta and rice. To insure best flavor, add to salads and cold dishes soon after cutting and to cooked dishes in the last few minutes of cooking. 

Oregano: In folk medicine it is used to treat colds, coughs, gastrointestinal problems, has antibacterial, antifungal, antimicrobial properties. Oil is used to scent soaps, lotions and cologne. 
 It also includes the flavonoids. Fresh and dried leaves of oregano can be added to soups, casseroles, sauces, stew, stuffing, eggs, olives, teas, tomato-based dishes, chili and pizza. Flowers have a flavor similar to the leaves and can be a flavorful and decorative addition to vegetables, salads and other foods.

Dill: Dill water, or “gripe water,” is an ancient remedy that has been used by mothers for centuries to calm colicky babies or to help them sleep. Today, recent studies are bearing out the belief that dill is a useful remedy for indigestion and ulcers. Dill is also believed to have anti-cancer properties. 

Thyme: Thyme has many uses in chicken broth or stuffing; in clam chowder and marinades for meats or fish; in sauces; with onions, carrots or peas; in egg dishes with other sweet herbs; even in a baked apple dessert. The flavor can be captured in oils or butter. Thyme has been used since ancient times for its antibacterial and antifungal properties (it was one of the Egyptian mummification herbs); it was used as a fumigant and as temple incense and medicinally in many ways. Today, the essential oil thymol is used extensively in mouthwash, toothpaste, and anti-rheumatic ointments.
These were some the commonly used herbs along with Parsley, sage, chives and rosemary. Does not matter if you are getting your herbs from garden or from stores, herbs are a great way to make your meal extra special.

Note: Using herbs in supplement form may have adverse reactions or may interact with your medications, so check with your doctor before taking any supplements.

-Mayuri Rangdal, 
 MS, RD, LDN.

Mayuri is a registered dietician who work at One. With years of experience she helps clients who are trying to achieve weight loss and overall better health. See our website at www.onecounselingandwellness.com to learn more about Mayuri and all of our providers and services. 

What Kind of Adult Do You Want to Be?

What Kind of Adult Do You Want To Be?

You always hear the question posed to younger kids, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I love hearing kids answer that question, I also love when adults ask themselves that question when they are thinking about making a career change or a life change in general. 

One question I feel that we are not posing to the youth today is “What kind of adult do you want to be?”

When I do ask kids that question sometimes I get answers like “I want to make a lot of money.” “I want to live in a big house.” “I want to drive a nice car.” I remind them that those are things they want to accomplish, those are not the things that will define them.

We ask the question of what they want to be but that is a very different question than “Who do you want be?”

When you ask a person who they want to be they have to think about what type of characteristics they want to instill in themselves, what interactions they want to have with others, what are their core values and what do they want their life here to represent. 

What you do in your job doesn’t always define who you are. It is important to look at all the different roles in your life (Mother, Son, Daughter, Husband, Father, Spouse, Friend, Sibling). Who are you in those roles and how do you tie those different roles into being the person you are the represents your core set of values.

When I was little I remember people asking my parents “What do you want your kids to be when they grow up?” I remember my parents saying “All we want is for them to grow up to be nice people.” WOW! I am glad I didn’t know at the time the magnitude of that expectation at the time. 

However, that expectation of being a “nice person” was always in the back of my mind. I always knew what I was going to be when I grew up but that statement force me to think about who I wanted to be. 

What kind of person did I want to be? I thought about all the things I wanted to be and than figured out a way to be them. Achieving some of those qualities were harder than others. I still work on the ones that still feel like work for me!
It is hard to respond to people who are being reactive to you.

Making a decision that you are going to be a responsible adult financially, emotionally and otherwise is difficult but it is just that, your decision.

What kind of adult you want to be is like any other major decision that you have to make over the course of your life. Sometimes it seem impossible to see the other side when you are trying to decide the right thing for you to do. Sometimes you have to try hard, sometimes you have to leap, sometimes you have to let go and sometimes you have to make your decision and never look back.

I believe in a balance of letting life’s experience shape you and deciding for yourself who you want to be, the place you want to be in people’s lives and the mark you want to leave on the world. Don’t just let life happen to you, make sure that you are participating in the process.

Jori Sparry is a License Marriage and Family Therapist at One Counseling and Wellness. 

  

Get Unplugged!

Get Unplugged!

We all know that children and adults today are spending too much time in front of screens whether it’s TV, computer, video games or phones.  I found myself having a bit of a panic attack recently when my own phone went missing for a half an hour.  A common nightly occurrence in many households is everyone being in front of a screen of their choice (IPAD, laptop, phone, TV, video game).  So how important is it to unplug your family and get everyone outside?

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children ages 0-2 have NO screen time and children older than two are limited to two hours of screen time a day.  So what is the research telling us are the effects of too much screen time?

Kids need to play, socialize and explore their environment in order to physically and mentally develop.  Screen time interferes with this important development. Also children who spend too much time in front of screens are more likely to be or become obese.   Watching television on a regular basis (even cartoons and G rated shows) exposes children to unhealthy amounts of violence, risky behaviors and disrespectful language and behaviors.  

Older children and adolescents also have a lot of added pressure with Facebook and texting.  Instead of their social day ending at the end of the school day, many Jr. High and high school students spend hours on texting and Facebook trying to stay connected.  This can led to problems with stress, anxiety and cyber bullying.

 Cornell University psychologist Nancy M. Wells PhD.  studied the benefits of kids connecting to nature and playing outside.  This research found that the more kids spent outdoors in nature the better they functioned both cognitively and emotionally.  The kids who spent less time in front of screens and more time outside playing and exploring,  showed better concentration, focus and behavior in school, increased ability to cope with stress and were more effective learners.  Kids who spent more time outdoors were more physically fit as kids and adults.  Lastly, these kids were more likely to take an interest in caring for the Earth as both kids and adults.

So what new rules can families put into place to help unplug from the screens and plug into nature?  Here are some suggestions to consider.

1. Setting a time limit on screen time (this includes mom and dad).
2. Jr. High and High school students turn the phone off and give to a parent at 8pm.
3. Weather permitting, family walks or outside time for at least 30 minutes a day.
4. Pick one day a month where everyone completely unplugs and spends the day outside.
5. Have a family picnic where no electronics are allowed and everyone has to communicate face to face.  
6. Plant a garden in your yard.

Kids and adults will benefit from connecting to nature.  Give it a try and see what improvements you see in your family!

Maggie Bagley is a licensed clinical social worker who has extensive experience working with children with Autism, ADHD, anxiety and behavioral disorders. She is a therapist and owner at One Counseling and Wellness.

Get A Life!

I know that most days I am not sure what I have accomplished. Between working, dinners, laundry, cleaning, dishes, running kids to and from school and activities by the end of the day I feel like the accomplishment was making it through it.

The days fly by and before I know it, the weekend has arrived. Weekends are full of grocery runs, errands that never got done during the week and getting set up for the next week. Two full days of catching up from the week behind and setting up for the week a head.

When week after week of this pile up, I start thinking to myself....I need to get a life!

Than I start thinking about what living means? Is the laundry as important as time away with friends?

Balance in life is one of those things you always have to be working at. Like juggling balls in the air you always have to be looking and aware of where everything is.

This awareness clues you in to when things are out of balance. When you know things just don't "feel" right, when you are always tired, don't have the energy to go out and be social with people, when everything else is more important than you.

Having balance in life actually energizes you!

Don't make social things and hobbies one more box to check in your life.

1. Do you have a social outlet that you visit regularly?
2. Do you have a hobby you enjoy?
3. Do you take time for yourself?
4. Do you always have something planned to look forward to?

If the answers above are mostly "no" you need to get a life.

Life is not only something given to us but something that needs to be created and enjoyed. This is an on going process that needs to be evaluated and reworked. It is essential, not only for continued improvement in the quality of your life but for your overall well being and the well being of your family.


Jori Sparry is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Her expertise includes working with traumatic life events, post traumatic stress disorder, marital and family issues, blended family issues, divorce, infertility, families with multiples, depression, anxiety, and with military service members and their families.

Internet Safety

Kids and Internet Safety

As technology becomes an increasing part of all households, safety and monitoring the internet becomes an important role for parents.  Kids no longer need a computer to get on-line, as they can access the internet through their phones, gaming devices and Ipods.   Ninety percent of kids ages 8-16 have been exposed to pornography on the internet, most of the time while using the internet for homework.  Curiosity often keeps them exploring.  Thirty-five percent of teen boys and eight percent of teen girls have intentionally visited sexually inappropriate sites.  Pornography has lasting affects on kids.  It changes their outlook of healthy sexual relationships.  For boys, attitudes toward women changed.  Kids often become more aggressive and develop sexually dysfunctional attitudes.  The human brain does not fully develop until early adulthood. By viewing pornography, adolescents are changing the structure of their brain, expanding pathways that will never go away and can be cued many years later.  

It is important for parents to talk with their kids about healthy sexuality.  There are numerous programs that can be placed on your computer to block inappropriate sites.  Parents can also make monitoring internet usage easier by keeping the computer in a central location in the home.  Programs are currently being developed which can monitor internet usage on cell phones.  Pornography and sexuality can be a difficult topic for parents to discuss; however, by ignoring the problem it may only get worse and has the possibility of developing into an addiction kids will not know how to handle.  

Alicia Bell is a licensed professional counselor who has extensive experience working with children and adults with sexual addictions. She is a therapist at One Counseling and Wellness.